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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I’m running late. Like, super late. I had a meeting with this fancy client who thinks he’s the next Paganini or something. I rush outta my place, and boom! I trip over my own feet on Strada Mihai Viteazul. Classic me, right? I’m cursing under my breath, trying to shake it off.

Members of Commission for Emergency Situations allocate financial means to remove consequences of natural calamities in three districts of Moldova